Earlier this week I was speaking with a musician a friend of mine, and I had mentioned that it had been a year since I saw him play a gig. I reminded him that it was at this same show that I had witnessed a man repeatedly biting his girlfriend. The girlfriend biter was wearing a shirt that said Jesus Is A Cunt, so it was hard to miss him in pointing him out to your friends. Incidentally, a few months after this show I was at another show and spotted him again. However, this time he was not the spectacle. What caught my eye this time was a man with no shoes on, no shirt, eating a hamburger and walking into a porta potty. It may have legitimately been the filthiest thing I've ever bared witness to in my entire life. I half expected John Waters to emerge from the porta potty next to his and present him with the Lifetime Achievement award for filthiest human being. I imagined the award would resemble an oscar, but upon closer inspection it would just be a golden figure of Divine eating a dog turd.
|Going in for a bite|
|Just stand wherever|
|In looking for this photo I realized that there was a bag of teeth and a cup of teeth that I had found on two separate occasions|
I once had to explain to my fiancé how I broke the Otterbox case on my iPhone because I saw a man on a rascal, get up and take his shirt off. I mean it was at the state fair, so it meant either dropping my beer, the $150 steam mop that I had just purchased, or dropping the phone. The good news is that I was able to get a picture of the shirtless, rascal man. Plus I was able to incorporate it into my holiday card.
|I found Santa|
Yesterday, I was sneezed on by a chicken. When I posted about it on social media the first response I got was: "that would only happen to you!" It made me think back to earlier in the week, when I reminded my friend about the guy biting his girlfriend, which led to the porta potty story and then to the squirrel and chicken ordeal. To which he responded "only you see these things."
I do see these things. These things do happen to me. I don't know why, but they do. I'm not religious or really spiritual, but I'd kind of like to think that with all of the infinite wisdom in the world there is an equal and infinite amount of weirdness. Maybe once in awhile when you stop to look at something so odd, so completely outlandish, the universe also stops and looks back. In one precious moment of strange, awe inspired glory.